Calynn Wants a Signature (and a Scene)

An Alleycat Crew Short

“So who is this woman?” Kash groaned.

“Are you serious?” Calynn spun around. “I’ve told you like twenty times.”

“No, you’ve deflected like twenty times, including just now, and still haven’t told me where we’re going or why.” Kash stopped walking. “We’re supposed to be on the other side of the planet doing recon at Voo Industries to find out if they stole our client’s design. I’m not moving another step until—”

“I can’t tell you,” Calynn interrupted, arms flailing.

“Why not?”

“Because you won’t let me go if I tell you.” Her voice dropped to a whisper as her gaze fell to the ground. “And I really want to go.”

She shifted her weight from foot to foot, picking at her fingers. She kept her eyes down but stole two quick glances up at him to gauge his reaction.

She looked absolutely adorable.

Kash sighed and closed the distance between them in a few slow steps. Calynn stopped fidgeting. Her right hand landed on his stomach and slid around his waist under his jacket. He pulled her into his arms, kissed the top of her head, and waited. He didn’t want to argue with her. He just wanted to know why they were here. So he would wait until she offered it.

Calynn snuggled into his chest and held him tight, even taking a couple of small steps closer until their legs touched.

“You know…” she stammered against his shirt. “You know the, um… that I…”

“Baby Girl, it’s fine—”

“Her name is Kaana Moodow,” Calynn said into his chest. “She writes the books about Xandal and Miriana.”

Kash knew those names.

“So she writes those explicit romance novels that you make me act out with you?”

“Yes.” Calynn hugged him tighter. “And she’s signing books at the bookstore just down the block.”

Kash sighed and kissed the top of her head again. They really needed to get back on task, but… dammit, he loved her too much to tell her no.

“If we deviate from our current mission long enough for you to get some signed copies,” he said softly, “can I never again call our bed ‘the forbidden lair of our unscrupulous union’ ever again?”

Calynn looked up and rested her chin on his chest, a slight grin already forming.

“You always get that line wrong.”

“I said it exactly the way you made me say it last time.”

“No.” She tapped one finger against his sternum. “Listen carefully.”

Her voice dropped into that low, velvet tone she only used when she was about to ruin him.

“It is the sumptuous, silk-draped altar of our most unrepentant and utterly scandalous passion. The place where the very air still shimmers with the heat of every secret we have stolen from the night. Where the mattress itself has learned the shape of our bodies and sighs in remembered pleasure every time we return to it. The forbidden sanctuary of our most deliciously unscrupulous union.”

Kash stared at her.

“I’m not saying all of that.”

“You will if you want any of your dignity left when we get home.”

“Whatever,” he chuckled. “And no more silk-draped altars of body fluids either.”

“It’s the silk-draped altar of our secrets,” Calynn corrected primly, “where sweat and saliva glistened in the flickering light of the candles—”

“Or we can go back to work,” Kash cut her off.

“But I like acting them out with you.”

“And I want to love you the way I want to,” Kash said, letting his head fall forward until their faces were close. “Not some fantasy version of someone else’s love. You’re already a goddess in my eyes, and I can’t possibly love you any more than I do.” He paused, staring into her pretty brown eyes. “And I’m a horrible actor.”

“Abysmal,” Calynn agreed with a soft smile.

“And I won’t get any better.”

“Not with that attitude.”

“Exactly.” Kash smiled. “So no more scenes… okay?”

“Fine,” Calynn replied somberly, turning her head so she could press her cheek into his chest again.

“Great.” Kash’s smile widened. “Now let’s go get your books, break into a factory, and get back to the ship so I can cover you in honey and lick it off of you.”

“We don’t have that much honey,” she replied, still sounding somber.

“Then I’ll just put it on your elbows and knees.”

“My favorite,” her tone unchanging.

“Suck the honey from your nostrils?”

“Eww.” Calynn finally broke character, pulling back. “Why would you want to do that?”

“You have a cute nose…”

“Okay, stop.” She put her hand up to his face. “You win. Let’s go.”

Kash laughed as Calynn grabbed his hand and pulled him along. Once they were side by side again, he looked down at her, smirking.

“Each ragged breath sent bubbles through the golden brown…”

“You’re such an ass,” Calynn said, shaking her head.

“Would it be better with candlelight?”

“No. And candlelight makes everything better.”

“Everything?”

“Everything related to carnal bedroom activities, yes,” Calynn smirked back. “But I’m sure it wouldn’t make a war better. And you’re definitely not putting honey up my nose by candlelight.”

“I’m gonna see if the author can add it to her next novel. Challenge her to make it sexy somehow.”

“You do realize you’re about to be the only man in a bookstore full of horny women, right?” Calynn asked in a jovial tone. “Challenging her to make that sexy might bring the wrong attention.”

“Can I wait outside?”

“No. You can keep your big mouth shut and stay wrapped around me so they all know you’re my Xandal.”

“Yes, dear,” Kash mock-groaned.

“And, Kash.”

“Yes, dear?”

“I love the way you love me.”

“Back at ya, Baby Girl.”

And that, Alleycat Crew, is how I ended up as the only guy in a romance author signing while Calynn happily collected her stack of signed books and the women in line kept glancing at me like I might start quoting Xandal at any moment.

If you’d rather meet the actual idiot who writes these two instead of a fictional romance author, I’ll be at Cupboard Maker Books in Enola on Sunday, September 6th from 11:00 AM to 1:00 PM.

Come grab a signed Kash & Calynn book. I promise I won’t make you act out any scenes… and for the love of god, DO NOT put any honey up your lover’s nose… that’s just weird, man.

See you there.

– Captain CWT